Relational Mindfulness Circle

A non-judgemental, supportive space dedicated to nourishing all our relationships: with ourselves, each other, and the planet.

"Meditation naturally restores our capacity for seeing clearly with the heart, yet it can be easy in today’s world to draw an unnecessary divide between sitting meditation and how we show up to relationships" - DEBORAH EDEN TULL

Relational Mindfulness offers a set of practices and principles for bringing what we remember in meditation, to the beautiful, dynamic, complex, and messy field of relationships.

These clear, simple, and yet profoundly helpful practices and principles, come from dharma teacher and author Deborah Eden Tull (known as Eden), and emerged during her transition from living as a Buddhist monastic at a silent Zen monastery for 7.5 years to living, teaching, and serving in an urban context.

The Relational Mindfulness principles begin within, and can be brought to our intimate relationships, families, communities, work places, organizations, leadership. They can be drawn from moments of joy and within the domain of conflict and disconnect. They hold personal, interpersonal, transpersonal, ecological, societal, and global applications. We have the choice to use everything that arises to heal the tear in the fabric of human relationship and to recognize triggers as a portal for personal, ancestral, and collective healing.

Relational Mindfulness is based on the understanding that the subtlest form of love is attention: it is about paying attention to ourselves, to one another, and to our planet with more intention, and in so doing, to affirm who we really are. Like sitting meditation, Relational Mindfulness is not a doing but an undoing, a process of inquiring, emptying, opening, and remembering who we are, together.

Acknowledgement: much of this description directly uses Eden’s words, along with some of my own.

I have been working closely with Eden since 2019 and continue to be deeply nourished and supported by her work.

The picture at the top is of me with her book “Relational Mindfulness: A Handbook for Deepening Our Connection with Ourselves, Each Other, and the Planet.” , which offers an inspiring exploration of Relational Mindfulness and the implications of relating to ourselves, others, and our world from our already-existing wholeness and natural presence.

I continue to learn with Eden and integrate these principles into all aspects of my life.

Simultaneously, I offer this ongoing Relational Mindfulness practice space to invite more people into this nourishing and transformative work.

• Monthly, every 3rd Thursday of the month, 7:30 - 8:45pm (UK time), online via Zoom
• Come as often as you like (no pressure to come regularly)
• Sliding scale donation

The sessions will involve meditation, speaking and listening with a partner, and whole-group exploration with time for questions and reflections. Sometimes there will also be embodied movement practices with music and time for writing/drawing/personal reflection.

By following the group guidelines below, we create a welcoming, safe space together. Everyone is free to show up exactly as you are. There is no aim to ‘get somewhere’ or to change ourselves; this is an invitation to join other humans in a gentle, non-judgemental way and to have opportunities to explore Relational Mindfulness together in a supportive environment.

Group Guidelines:

1. Arrive on time so we can all settle into the beginning mediation together.
2. Confidentiality: Please speak from your own experience, and do not repeat or comment on what others have shared.
3. Refrain from comforting or giving advice: your listening presence is enough.
4. Ask questions where clarification is needed. Seek support where support is needed.
5. Be willing to “try on” new ideas or practices even if they are not what you prefer or are familiar with.
6. Practise sharing the space: step forward (giving yourself permission to share) and step back (allowing others equal space to share).
7. Go at your own pace and honour your body’s feedback: there is never a requirement to share if you don’t want to, you can always choose not to engage in a practice, and please always treat yourself with gentleness. No blame/shame - towards yourself or another. It doesn’t serve to hold mindfulness as a standard for anyone. Kindness comes first.
8. Rest in deep listening; listen to others without interrupting, and listen within to your own experience, in the spirit of curiosity and non-judgement. Practise listening with heart and body as well as mind and ears.
9. Trust shadow/difficulty. What might this have to teach me? In what way can I offer myself the kindness I need right now?

By signing up you are agreeing to these group guidelines.

If you have any questions, or feel unable to agree to any of these guidelines, please contact me before signing up.