Question 1

Isn't self-compassion just a pity party?

Accepted Answer

Self-pity is being immersed in your own problems and forgetting that others struggle, too. However, being self-compassionate is seeing things exactly as they are — no more and no less, she said. It means acknowledging that you’re suffering, while acknowledging that others have similar problems.

Question 2

Doesn't self-compassion seems indulgent?

Accepted Answer

Being self-compassionate doesn’t mean solely seeking pleasure. It’s not shirking responsibilities or being slothful. Rather, self-compassion focuses on alleviating suffering. From this perspective, you consider whether something will hurt you in the long run.

Question 3

Isn't self-criticism is an effective motivator?

Accepted Answer

There’s actually nothing motivating about criticizing yourself, because it makes you fear failure and lose faith in yourself. Even if you do achieve great things, you’re often miserable, anyway.

Question 4

But, self-compassion is selfish, right?

Accepted Answer

In our culture, we are taught to care for everyone except ourselves. Self-compassion can thus be seen as selfish, that taking care of yourself means you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing: taking care of someone else. But if you burnout, you can not care for another.

Question 5

Won't it make me weak to be compassionate to myself?

Accepted Answer

In our individualistic society, you are supposed to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” and tough things out.  But in actuality, self-compassion serves to heal and strengthen you. It is, in fact, the strongest and most resilient among us who have the most compassion for themselves.

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