Relationship Tuneup

Rick Longinotti

Keep that loving feeling going  by practicing Nonviolent Communication.

This small class once per month will start with a mini-lesson on the topics below, followed by practice on communication challenges that participants indicate are relevant. Come with your partner or by yourself.October 21: Natural Giving Instead of ObligationOur culture teaches us we have an obligation to our partner. Our sense of obligation kills the joy of giving–like having sex out of a sense of duty. We’ll practice removing obstacles to our natural desire to give to our partner.Nov 11:  Need an Apology?In this session we’ll explore how to offer an apology “in giraffe”, rather than conventional apologies that are unsatisfying. The giraffe apology is an expression of sadness that our behavior affected the other person in a painful way. We need to feel empathy for ourselves first. That way we&#x27;ll clear away feelings of guilt or self-loathing that can result in an apology mixed with self justification. Our apology allows space for the other person to describe how our behavior impacted them. If desired, we are open to explaining to the other person what led us to the behavior.Dec 9:  The Hurt Feelings JackalHow can you tell your partner you feel disappointed, without them responding with guilty feelings?  How do you respond when you think your partner is making you responsible for their feelings?January 13:  The Entitled JackalWe live in a culture where people think they should have more power, based on their role. They get to decide, because they are the main breadwinner, the one with primary responsibility for the children, the smarter one, etc.  Relationships work better when we get our expectations out on the table where we can re-negotiate them. Let&#x27;s practice doing that compassionately.UPCOMINGRequests Without Subtle DemandsWe&#x27;ll figure out how to free our requests from appeals to moral standards like fairness. Instead, we&#x27;ll use the language that speaks to our partner&#x27;s heart. We&#x27;ll also practice what to do if your partner is using moral standards on you.

Relationship Tuneup

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Relationship Tuneup

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