Playing Mono-Poly: The Monogamy/CNM Dynamic

Dr. Eli Sheff

What do you do when one person in a relationship wants monogamy and another person wants multiple partners?

Practical Polyamory

Living your best polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous life requires a whole toolbox of skills. Newbie or lifer, up your game and gather your party with practical skill-building workshops on a wide range of topics with polyamory/NM educators.

It may seem like everyone is polyamorous right now, or at least wants to be. For some people, though, polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamies (CNM) are not at all appealing. What do you do when you want each other, but one of you also wants…others? Rising interest in CNM means that more and more people are thinking that it might be a good fit for them, but many are already in love with or interested in someone who doesn’t want to have a multiple-partner relationship. This creates the mono/CNM dynamic, where the couple needs to figure out if they can find a common ground that meets everyone’s needs. This class introduces the origins of the CNM/mono dynamic, explains when it works and when it does not, and explores some of the compromises people are able to craft to navigate these mixed relationships. Using information from 25+ years of research, 10+ years of coaching, and examples from Dr. Eli’s two marriages where she was the monogamous partner in love with someone who wanted CNM, this workshop is based on social science with a healthy dose of lived experience and real-world feelings. In this class people can expect to learn:<ul><li>Why CNM has become so popular recently</li><li>What personality traits lend themselves well to mixed relationships</li><li>Whether monogamy and nonmonogamy are choices or orientations</li><li>When the mono/CNM dynamic works well, or doesn’t work at all</li><li>How to find a compromise</li><li>What has worked for others in similar situations </li></ul>If you are having difficulties figuring out how to manage a mixed monogamy/CNM relationship, you might feel isolated, but you’re far from alone! Join us to learn how to get the best of both worlds and design the life that’s right for both of you. There will be a Q&A discussion period with a method for submitting questions or experiences anonymously. This class is virtual and will be recorded, with the link to the recording provided to all registrants. Sliding scale tiers are available, and you may also inquire about sliding scale accommodations at events@tamarapincus.com. If you enjoyed this workshop, keep it going by joining Dr. Eli's <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/monocnm-mixed-relationship-support-group-tickets-703775971877">coaching support group for mono-CNM mixed relationships this fall</a>. Don’t forget to check out Dr. Eli’s other <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/cc/practical-polyamory-1083189">Practical Polyamory </a>workshops this fall, and make sure to join our <a href="https://www.tamarapincus.com/subscribe-to-our-mailing-list/" target="_blank" data-msys-clicktrack="0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">mailing list </a>for workshop announcements, Ask a Sexpert, and free sexual and mental wellness resources!<a href="https://www.tamarapincus.com/elisheff/" target="_blank" data-msys-clicktrack="0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">Dr. Eli Sheff</a> is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children, and has more than 25 years’ experience researching consensual nonmonogamies. Dr. Eli has a PhD in sociology and is a Certified Sexuality Educator who has written four books and 30+ academic articles on CNM and BDSM/kinky sex. She serves as a relationship coach, educator, and expert witness. She has appeared on hundreds of podcasts, television shows, and media interviews with outlets from NPR, National Geographic, and the New York Times, to Cosmopolitan and Savage Love. Dr. Eli blogs for Psychology Today and always wants to make friends with dogs. <a href="https://www.tamarapincus.com/about/" target="_blank" data-msys-clicktrack="0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">The Pincus Center for Inclusive Treatment and Education</a> specializes in working with queer, transgender/nonbinary, kinky, and ethically non-monogamous/polyamorous people. We value sex positivity (including asexuality), body positivity and fat liberation, and racial justice.

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Playing Mono-Poly: The Monogamy/CNM Dynamic

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Playing Mono-Poly: The Monogamy/CNM Dynamic

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