Don't Tell Me What To Do: Understanding PDA

The Pincus Center

Explores the root causes of PDA, its characteristics, and how to handle it within yourself, a loved one, or a client.

Does something inside you shut down whenever someone gives you a task– even if it’s something you otherwise wanted to do? Do even the smallest and most reasonable requests loom over you, filling you with dread and resistance? Does it feel like you’re fighting your way through a wall of “no” when you try to push yourself to do the thing anyway? Or maybe it’s not you– maybe you’ve got a partner, or a child, or client who seems to dig their heels in and resist you at every turn. Perhaps you’re feeling worn down by everyday tasks like meals or getting ready to go out that turn into battlegrounds. Are you frustrated and confused, wondering why they’re shutting down or fighting you on the simplest things? The answer might lie in the framework known as PDA. Pathological Demand Avoidance, or the Persistent Drive for Autonomy, is much more common than you might think– but it’s been poorly understood until now. It’s something that frequently occurs with neurodivergent children and adults, and previously it’s been stigmatized and mislabeled as “stubborn”, “difficult”, “disrespectful”, or “lazy”. In recent years, clinicians have been able to describe it more accurately as behavior that results from having a very sensitive threat detection system. In other words, situations that neurotypical folks would see as neutral and reasonable– like needing to put away clean laundry– register to some ND folks as a threat to their autonomy, triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response…even if they’re the ones asking it of themselves. Also, plenty of people have demand avoidance that is not persistent. These techniques can also be used to help people who don’t have full on PDA but still struggle with demands of others or themselves. Join us for this workshop that explores the root causes of PDA, its characteristics, and how to handle it within yourself, a loved one, or a client. You’ll learn: <ul><li>How to understand what’s happening in the mind and body of someone experiencing PDA and why it’s not just them being “difficult”</li><li>What approaches to take with someone who experiences PDA to prevent it flaring up in the first place</li><li>How to help someone who experiences PDA to understand what’s going on and develop tools to manage those reactions</li><li>How to calm and regulate the nervous system during a PDA flare to allow the person to become able to manage their behavior again</li><li>How to explain PDA to people in a ND person’s life– parents, partners, employers, family members– to help them develop compassion and understanding</li></ul> This workshop is open to clinicians, parents and clients and is inclusive of all genders, orientations, and lifestyles. There will be time for Q&amp;A and discussion, including conversation around specific situations with which you need help. PDA can be painful for everyone involved, but it’s not hopeless. Join us and discover a more compassionate and effective path. This program meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for 2 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward AASECT certification and renewal of certification. Please select the CEU option at registration if you are eligible and wish to receive the certificate. You MUST attend the live session and confirm your attendance in the session to complete the requirements. Workshops offered by non-AASECT affiliated educators have been supervised and reviewed by an AASECT-certified supervisor. Completion of this program does not ensure or guarantee AASECT certification. For further information please contact info@aasect.org. This class is virtual and will be recorded, with the link to the recording provided to all registrants. Sliding scale tiers are available, and you may also inquire about sliding scale accommodations at events@tamarapincus.com. Don’t forget to make sure to join our <a href="https://tamarapincus.com/subscribe-to-our-mailing-list/" title="https://tamarapincus.com/subscribe-to-our-mailing-list/" target="_blank" data-msys-clicktrack="0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">mailing list </a>for workshop announcements, Ask a Sexpert, and free sexual and mental wellness resources! <a href="https://tamarapincus.com/tamarapincus/" title="https://tamarapincus.com/tamarapincus/" target="_blank" data-msys-clicktrack="0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">Tamara Pincus</a> is a licensed clinical social worker and AASECT certified sex therapist who runs The Pincus Center which offers therapy, coaching and sex education. She specializes in working with kinky, polyamorous and LGBTQ clients. Tamara has been working in the field of sex therapy since 2011 and since then has built a practice with a team of 11. Tamara is passionate about racial justice, fat justice and LGBTQ rights. She also co-authored a book titled "It's Called Polyamory: Coming Out About Your Non-Monogamous Relationships" with Rebecca Hiles. She lives in Virginia in a queer polyamorous household of chaos. <a href="https://tamarapincus.com/kate-gilles/" title="https://tamarapincus.com/kate-gilles/" target="_blank" data-msys-clicktrack="0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">Kate Gilles</a> (she/her) is a clinician working with couples and individuals at The Pincus Center for Inclusive Treatment and Education. She received her MSW from Catholic University; her work draws on psychodynamic approaches and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). She is a volunteer abortion doula and has worked for many years for sexual and reproductive health research and policy. She works with clients on issues related to identity (especially sexual and gender identity), anxiety, body image, neurodivergence, and life transitions. <a href="https://www.tamarapincus.com/about/" title="https://www.tamarapincus.com/about/" target="_blank" data-msys-clicktrack="0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">The Pincus Center for Inclusive Treatment and Education</a> specializes in working with queer, transgender/nonbinary, kinky, and ethically non-monogamous/polyamorous people. We value sex positivity (including asexuality), body positivity and fat liberation, and racial justice.

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Don't Tell Me What To Do: Understanding PDA

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