Why Your Personal Statement Sucks (And How to Make It Sizzle)!

Let’s be real: most college essays sound like ChatGPT wrote them in a hurry while trying to be “deep.” If your personal statement reads like a resume with a thesaurus or a Hallmark card about "perseverance," it might be time for an intervention.

Join us for a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud crash course on what not to do—and how to transform your essay from cringeworthy to compelling. Inspired by the viral brilliance of the Costco Essay, this session dives into the magic of storytelling, the power of quirks, and why being real beats being rehearsed.

We’ll teach you:

• How to open with a bang (not a bore)
• Why “relatable” is your best friend
• The art of sprinkling humor without sounding like a sitcom
• How to ask questions that actually matter
• What makes a conclusion unforgettable

Come for the roasting. Stay for the rewriting. Leave with a story only you could tell.

Our Expert Panel

John Morganelli developed a college admissions coaching program that helps students get into the most competitive US colleges and has been working as a leader in the private admissions consulting space for over 5 years. Prior to becoming a consultant, John was a Director of Admissions at Cornell University. He has held senior admissions leadership positions at: Cornell University, Lehigh University, and Moravian University. John is also the author of “Growing Ivy: How to Crack the Code on Elite College Admissions” (2021).

Justin Taylor has a Masters in dramatic literature from the Sorbonne (Paris) and an MFA in playwriting from Yale. For more than ten years, he has helped hundreds of students boost their scores as a test prep tutor (SAT/ACT, SAT/AP French) and boost their admissions prospects as a college application consultant. Yale, Georgetown, Vanderbilt, Boston College, and NYU are some recent admits for happy students. He has taught writing at Yale University, Wesleyan University, the Sorbonne, in high schools and privately throughout New York City with all ages. While writing is his background, he enjoys math and scored 780 last time he took an SAT math section. He is also a professional meditation teacher and loves sharing meditation hacks to cruise through stress on test day (ask him about being the meditation teacher for Facebook). When Justin is not helping people with their educational dreams, he is working on his plays in NYC (he has written more than 20!)

Further Reading

1. How to Write a Compelling College Essay
   
2. College Essay Dos and Don'ts
3. College Essay 101
4. 10 Things to Do in the Summer Before Senior Year