The Pool of Pain: Learning to Process Loss Without Drowning

Grief doesn’t wait for the right moment. It breaks through wherever it can.

I once found myself sobbing on the Long Island Railroad while reading Harry Potter. I wasn’t just crying about the book. I was crying because a reservoir of pain I had ignored for years finally overflowed uncontrollably. It lasted months.

We tend to think we only have to process the “big” losses. But pain accumulates in quieter ways. We lose relationships that never healed, we lose the childhood we needed but didn’t get, and we carry the small daily hurts that never get acknowledged.

When we don’t make space for any of it, it collects in what I call the Pool of Pain. And eventually, that pool overflows. Usually, right in the middle of your otherwise normal day.

This workshop is about changing your relationship with your pain so it can move through you instead of ambushing you.

We’ll explore:

The Pool of Pain Metaphor

How suppressed hurt, anger, grief, and disappointment fill internal “pools” over time, and why they overflow without warning.

Redefining Loss

Understanding that loss isn’t just about death. It includes the loss of safety, the loss of connection, the loss of who you might have become in a different environment.

Scheduled Release

A simple, structured way to create a safe emotional container (using timing, location, and music) so you can intentionally drain the pool a little at a time, instead of waiting for it to burst.

You’ll leave with a clear plan for making space for your feelings so you can process your pain without drowning in it.

All participants will receive the workshop recording and the slide deck.

Your donation helps keep these workshops free for all by covering Meetup and Zoom costs so more people can access emotional support without barriers.