Old Towne Medieval Dive Bar Crawl

Are you the kind of man that's always wanted to wear tights out to a bar? Pretty sure you'd look super hot in one of those frilly blouse shirts that Prince rocked? Well, you know what's cheaper than therapy?!

A MEDIEVAL BAR CRAWL.

Come dressed in your best medieval attire and prepare to maraud around old town with a bunch of complete strangers who share your belief that the Amish just didn't take things far enough. We'll be hitting all the best dives that we haven't already been banned from and just generally having a nice little Saturday.

3:00–3:45 — Boondocks
3:50–4:40 — 50 Shades
4:45–6:00 — Mother Truckers
6:05–6:50 — Goodwood
6:55–7:45 — Kill Club
7:50–8:30 — Gilligans
8:35–9:15 — Pattie’s
9:20–10:00 — Coach House

Better still -- this whole thing came about because it's some guy's birthday and his only request was that we do something medieval themed, because he and a 7 year old Make a Wish kid have a lot of shared interests as it turns out. So, because we couldn't get John Cena and his girlfriend doesn't know better than to trust me to plan things, we're organizing the biggest, most chaotic and disorganized medieval themed event we can.

RULES:

• No actual weapons. I have no idea how weird some of you are, and there's a strong possibility that I would get called in for questioning if you actually stab somebody, and that would be really inconvenient because they usually do that stuff on workdays. Plus the bars won't let you in anyways.
• No large livestock -- I'm betting you could probably carry a chicken in some places, but I doubt they'd let you bring a pig in.
• There is no organized discounting or wristbands or really anything else to make this a formal thing. If you see another guy wearing chainmail, he's probably with us, and if he's not, he's probably still pretty cool.
• If anybody has one of those plague doctor bird masks, I will personally buy them at least one round. Love those things.