Speaking truth to power, being a trusted advisor, spitting in the soup: there is an array of language to describe how we might usefully challenge clients, or be challenged by consultants we employ. There is plenty written on the art and importance of contracting and how to constructively challenge. And what happens in the moment is relational, emergent, fluid and part of the ‘work proper’ of practice.
From a client perspective, there is a gnarly truth: you are part of this dance, and have a role to play in determining where the boundaries may lie.
In our work as consultants, we have been reflecting on the same question but from different angles. For Steve, it is an inquiry grounded in exploring his practice and reputation as the ‘right kind of fly in your ointment’. That has meant inquiring into what it means to be ‘too fly’, and whether and when a challenge might be too strong i.e. ‘taking it too far’, ‘crossing a line’.
For Jeremy, it is different. Having been told on occasions that he is ‘too nice’, Jeremy’s focus has been on creating psychologically safe and supportive environments in which individuals and teams can develop and bring the best of themselves to their work. He may be playing it too safe, raising the possibility that he does not go close enough to wherever the line is, and therefore may not help clients go where they really need to, or as far as they might.
Nested in here are the distinctions between, amongst other things:
- Niceness and kindness
- Creating a “safe” environment where people feel comfortable to talk more openly with each other and creating an environment where nobody wants to say something critical of another (or of you).
- Genuinely useful observations/feedback (helping people clearly see what they really are very good at) and tipping over into something else.
These tensions are not always easy to manage. For consultants, change practitioners and coaches, how comfortable, really, are we with inquiring into our self-narrative? With finding out how others actually experience us and learning that, maybe, we sometimes do not go where we need to, to be of service. Or we may go too far…
So, we have questions, and we want to scaffold an inquiry with others into questions such as:
- What is 'too far'?
- What is 'too much'?
- What is not enough?
- Where do we draw the line? And who is drawing it? And how do we create a shared understanding of that?
- Is it even a line, or is it a zone?
- What might it take to get comfortable with and be able to bear ‘not knowing’ in relation to where that line is, for all parties?
- How do we know?
- How do we assess that?
- Based on what assumptions and data?
- Where do the ethics of ‘do no harm’ sit in relation to all of this?
- And how does this help both ourselves and a client?
Join us for a 90 minute webinar on 10th September at 3pm BST. Bring your own lines you have crossed and not crossed, and be prepared to play with them. Cream buns optional.
