Transformational Conversations with Debby Irving

Learn to move from blame and disconnection to understanding and connection.

Do you relate to these sentiments?

1. How can I be sure I'm not saying the wrong thing?
2. Uncle Joe has become so impossible to talk to, I can’t even be in the same room with him anymore!
3. I wanted to say something and I couldn’t find the words. I am so mad at myself.
4. Dang! I wish I hadn’t said anything. Things are worse than before.
5. I want to have a conversation with my racist/clueless/offensive friend and I don't even know where to start.

Because dominant white culture encourages us to avoid conflict, many of us raised in it have not fully developed the insight, skill, and emotional stamina necessary to broach and navigate differences of perspective and opinion, especially when harm to a member of a marginalized group is part of the mix. After all, we’re taught not to even see race, let alone talk about it! Too often these unskilled conversations are completely avoided or broached only to go from bad to worse, leaving people in divided camps teeming with assumption and anger that further divides us and wreaks havoc on our relationships and communities.

There is a different way. In contrast to the social norms of whiteness are norms and skills designed to develop the authenticity and courage necessary to deeply understand one another in ways that forge connection and develop resilience. These are also ways of being that nurture and grow us personally and collectively.

This interactive workshop will explore how to embed new, transformational norms into our personal and institutional practices.