Where do the most unbelievably gross, heartwarming, funny, and weird stories happen in San Francisco? On Muni, of course! Come celebrate everything unexpected that can happen from point A to point B on just one bus ride.

Our storytellers:

Peter Hartlaub, the pop culture critic for the San Francisco Chronicle, writing entertainment features, movie reviews and a lot of Bay Area nostalgia. He is also the editor/founder of The Big Event blog on SFGate.com. Hartlaub grew up in Burlingame, where he was a Chronicle paperboy and dedicated SamTrans rider. His favorite bus-themed movie is "Speed." His favorite bus in popular culture is The Catbus from "My Neighbor Totoro." His favorite Muni line is the 77X-Candlestick Express. He commutes from Oakland, where he lives with his wife and two young sons. Follow him on Twitter @PeterHartlaub.

Annalee Newitz, an author who writes about science, culture and the future. She's the editor-in-chief of the blog io9.com, and the author of the recent book Scatter Adapt and Remember: How Humans Will Survive a Mass Extinction. She has been riding Muni since she was 5 years old, and can remember when it cost a nickel.

Jesse James, our new Muni Haiku Battle champion returns to defend his crown! Jesse James likes fun and stuff, finds solace in the dulcet tones of Sigourney Weaver, is an occasional mover and or shaker and is riding his bike this summer from San Francisco to Los Angeles as part of the AIDS/LifeCycle event.

Ed Casey, who occasionally runs @BARTDiaries and co-hosts Issues, his mom's favorite podcast about comic books. You may also know Ed from his blog and Twitter feed, BART Don't Lie. Ed is better than you at Twitter and if you wanted to buy him a drink, he wouldn't say no you look great tonight is that a new haircut?

Kate Willett, a San Francisco based comedian and actress. She's appeared in SF Sketchfest, the San Francisco Comedy Competition, and at clubs, theaters and dive bars all over. San Francisco Magazine says she's a comedian you should know about and the SF Weekly says she's one of the "strongest female figures in Bay Area Comedy". As an actress, she has performed throughout the United States with companies such as Shakespeare and Company, Word for Word, Woman’s Will and the Samuel Beckett Theater in Dublin, Ireland. She’s also the co-producer of the weekly show The Mission Position" in Lost Weekend Video's famous CineCave, and Live at Deluxe at Club Deluxe.

Kelly Beardsley, BART train operator who has been telling stories about his wacky jobs in and around town for the last ten years. Over the course of 16 years, he has worked as a bike messenger, a locksmith, a tow truck driver (AAA), a school bus driver, a tour bus driver, and now a BART train operator. His stories have been heard on NPR's This American Life, NPR's The California Report, KPFA, Porchlight in San Francisco, and Radar reading series. He lives in the Mission with his lady friend Deez, Bailey the dog, and Taco the cat.

Gina Gold, comedian and host of TMI Storytelling,a monthly series offering unvarnished and funny looks at incendiary topics. Gina Gold got her start at BCAT—Brooklyn Cable Access Television—on channel 356 where she held the coveted 1AM Monday morning slot. Inspired by comedians like Carol Burnett and Lewis CK, Gina boldly pokes fun at her own idiosyncrasies as an African-American Bay Area native who is really from Queens.

Bring your own 2-minute Muni story for a chance to win a gift certificate from Pizza Hacker or a "Fuckin' Muni" T-shirt from The Tens!

Muni Diaries Live Sat., Apr. 5, 2014. doors: 6 p.m., show: 7 p.m.

Elbo Room 647 Valencia Street, San Francisco

Take Muni there: J-Church, 12, 14, 22, 33, 49, or BART: 16th or 24th St stations