2019 CRUISE-A-THONg Average Jo(e)Race

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If you didn't preregister, ALL adult 18+ tickets will be $35 and Youth under age 18 will be $25 on Saturday, July 27th.

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Location

Location

TOWN PARK

Hermosa Street

Pagosa Springs, CO 81147

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Refund Policy

Refund Policy

No Refunds

Sales Have Ended

Registrations are closed
If you didn't preregister, ALL adult 18+ tickets will be $35 and Youth under age 18 will be $25 on Saturday, July 27th.
Event description

Description

On Saturday July 27, 2019 in Town Park, FUSJR presents the Average Jo(e) Race. It is a triathlon designed for the not-so-hardcore athlete in all of us! Like a triathlon, the course consists of three legs; however, ours is a bit more relaxed.

  • The first being a “cruiser” bike ride (or other self-propelled method of transportation) through downtown Pagosa Springs.

  • Next, a thong (that is to say “flip-flop”) walk along the “almost world famous” Pagosa Springs River Walk.

  • Lastly, a tube float (or other flotation device) down the San Juan River.

The “race” is a one-of-a-kind, do not miss event. Why? Because unlike the Ironman, regular people actually have a chance at winning*! You may question how this could be, as you are just an average Jo(e) Six-Pack with no exceptional athletic aptitude? Well, this race rewards being average. The winner is the “Jo(e)” that posts the most average time (that is the mean, not median or mode, though these numerical positions often receive recognition as well). In addition, scoring by somewhat capricious judges may also take into account bonus points for consumption of edibles, gears on the race bike in excess of one, any sandals lost during the race, or any other element that makes a participant more or less average. Note:The course will be closed after 3 hours.

If you are not yet convinced this race was made for you, you would be happy to know that there are comfort stations – notice they are not “aid” stations- along the way. These stations provide race participants with high caloric value snacks and simple carbohydrates to keep the participants on course. These locally sponsored comfort stations will be positioned strategically along the course to provide support, comfort, and maybe a bit of song and dance for participants during the event. Of course, the event organizers want to make sure that participants are not over-exerted during the completion of this demanding don’t-try-athalon.

In order to assure a level playing field for the determination of which participant is actually most average, there are SIX SACRED RULES by which participants must abide, listed below in no particular order:

  1. All participants must start (and finish) with an equal number of thongs as they have feet. Any thongs lost during the race will result in a point deduction for the participant and a severe scolding about the horrors of littering.
  2. “Tubes” are considered any inflatable device that lacks a method of propulsion besides the body parts of the rider; creativity in this category is encouraged and rewarded.
  3. The “cruiser” ride may be completed on any wheeled and human-powered device. In the past this often materializes as a single speed ‘cruiser bike,’ but by no means is the race segment limited to this simple (yet ingenious) mode of transportation. It is worth noting that participants with more than one gear will be penalized accordingly (and calorically).
  4. Flip-flops (thongs) are defined as any footwear that does not have a heel strap.
  5. Participants can wear as little or as much clothing as desired (though we encourage consideration of all relevant laws). This may include a costume (designed, borrowed, found, or reclaimed). However, every participant’s event-issued identification must be visible at all times and at completion of the course.
  6. Finally,(drum-roll, please): this event is designed to be the funnest thing you will do this summer. If it appears to the unqualified judges as if a participant’s fun-o-meter dips below average during this event, said participant will be given an initial tongue lashing as a warning. If the dysfunction of the participants fun-o-meter persists, said participant may be recommended for disqualification or fined excessively (and calorically).

******After Party, which consists of live music, libations, and a ceremony to award this year’s most Average Jo(e). We will also award other not-so-average participants for creative costumes and other not-so-average antics.


NOTE: Racers will be required to sign a waiver to participate. Anyone under 18 must be accompanied by a registered adult participating in the race. We recommend all participants wear a PFD, however children 12 and under must wear a PFD during the float section of the race and anytime while playing in the river. Parents do not leave children unattended!!


Participants need to provide their own gear for the race. We have sponsors in the community that rent tubes, bikes, PFD's and such. Please reserve them in advance and bring them to Town Park. Bike and Tube stations will be set up stategically in the park for optimal race access!

Date and Time

Location

TOWN PARK

Hermosa Street

Pagosa Springs, CO 81147

View Map

Refund Policy

No Refunds

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