PLAY SATURDAYS @ MOOMIA

Moomia - Imagine the ripe, fruity goodness of a Jamba Juice smoothie. Then add alcohol. Lots of it. You'll get something like the "King Tut," one of two dozen signature martinis at Moomia, the new Soho hooka hotspot.(Try saying that five times.) Once you're finished with the King Tut, sink into a banquette, marvel at the hieroglyphic-coated-walls, and smoke from the 17 flavors of hookah. Next comes the belly dancers. Ah yes, the belly dancers. Draped in teasing skirts and skimpy tops, they swirl, sashay, and flit through the crowd, making damn sure you won't just have a "low-key evening." Ballers can head downstairs to the VIP room, which is pimped out with more hieroglyphic walls, hookahs, banquettes, and even a horizontal mummy case. If the sneakily potent martinis, smoke, DJs, and eye candy doesn't sate your appetite, check out their food menu that includes lamb shish kebab tagine and desserts like coconut rice pudding. Guys? If the smoke, exotic décor, and belly dancers don't give you inspiration for an opening line, then shame on you.